10 Ditchworthy Wedding Traditions For Your Nashville, TN Wedding
10 Ditchworthy Wedding Traditions
Bouquet & Garter Toss
Cake Cutting
Bridal Veil
Unity Candle/Sand Ceremony
Formal Dances
Traditional Dinner
Wearing White
Dancing/Dance Party
Guests
Unisex Bridal Parties
Before you accuse us of disrupting the peace, hear us out. We have literally been to hundreds of weddings, and after awhile, they all start to blend into each other. And we don’t hate tradition, either! Far from it, we believe that choosing the meaningful traditions for your wedding is the best way to respect yourselves on one of the most important days of your lives together.
In order to choose the right traditions, you also have to be able to identify the traditions that aren’t really yours. That is, the ones that aren’t meaningful to you, or that are just tradition for tradition’s sake in your mind.
We’ve made this guide with you in mind, not to rid you of traditions you love, but to help you sort through what does and does not matter to you.
Ultimately, we recommend asking yourself two questions through the planning process:
First: “Will it still feel like our wedding without this?”
Second: “Will it still feel like our wedding with this?”
The nuanced difference is slight, but important. Only choose to include the things that are absolutely yours, and make them the biggest and best they can be. Make no room for the things that belong to other people: the cake your grandma pressures you to have, the colors your bridesmaids insist are “in,” the dress someone else talks you into.
Be picky. We believe this will be your last wedding, so do it right; do it your way. And if you want someone to blame when your loved ones don’t like the way you’re making decisions, you can point the finger at us. We think it’s worth it for your to have a celebration that truly reflects you.
Let’s start with the three traditions we just don’t understand.
Bouquet & Garter Toss
If you have tons of single girlfriends, especially on the younger side, it can be fun to watch them leap into the air for a bouquet. You may have even done it yourself at some point. More and more, especially as couples are choosing to get married later, we’re seeing this tradition attract a lot less love. Your 33-year-old single best friend is a little more loathe to strut onto the dance floor to compete for a bouquet announcing her singleness than she was a decade ago. Before you commit to a toss bouquet from your florist, consider asking your best girlfriends their thoughts on this tradition (or just counting the number of singles at your wedding).
As for the garter toss, we’ve seen it done well… about one tenth of the time. It can be steamy and sexy and super hot (as long as your grandma isn’t around), or it can be awkward (remember that one time the DJ tied the groom’s hands behind his back and blindfolded him?), embarrassing (when the only two single guys at the reception have to be dragged up front in front of their girlfriends), or go horribly wrong (like when the best man dives into the air, accidentally elbowing the bride’s brother and giving a black eye as he catches the garter).
Cake Cutting
Grandma loves cake. Grandma always wants you to cut your cake and feed it to each other. In case you haven’t stopped to ask yourself, “WHY?!?!” we’re here to do it for you. What is it about this tradition that people find appealing? We honestly don’t get it. Many of our couples choose not to have a cake, not to cut their cake, or not to announce cutting their cake. We’re super happy to take pictures of whatever version of cake cutting or not cake or whatever it is you want. But just ask yourself, “Why?” before you place that order.
Unity Candle/Sand Ceremony
Isn’t the entire wedding ceremony about unifying? Okay, enough said. (Not really; you should know better by now. Here’s what we encourage you to consider: Where will that vase of multi-colored sand be in ten years? My brother’s is tucked away in a closet. And if that candle lighting ceremony tickles your fancy… we kinda just want to know why.)
Bridal Veil
Don’t get us wrong, we absolutely love veils. (And we’re still not over Kate Middleton’s veil from 2011.) But this is one tradition we see brides commonly heeding more for the sake of previous generations than for themselves. If you long for a veil, go get ‘em, tiger. We can’t wait to photograph you in it. If maybe you’re on the fence, we’ll stand behind you if you choose to ditch it.
Formal Dances
This one’s for you, fellow introvert. If the idea of a first dance just doesn’t appeal, or if you can’t stand being the center of attention, or if you aren’t that close to your parents, or if there’s any other if in your arsenal of reasons you’re dreading the formal dances, let yourself off the hook. There’s no hard and fast rule you have to make this a part of your day. And hey, if you’re worried about offending a parent, we can (and will) go out of our way to create a special time for the two of you to have your own thing on the wedding day.
Traditional Dinner
Gone are the days of steak-or-chicken options (unless you are super jazzed about it). From the Chick Fit A truck to a taco cart, or any number of food vendors on wheels, you can pretty much have your favorite meal for your wedding. And why wouldn’t you? We promise your guests will find a waffle bar for dinner much more memorable (and probably appealing) than the usual wedding fare.
Wearing White
Whilst many a bride still opts for white (or a similar colour), if that’s just not your shade, we’re crazy about the idea of you wearing something that is. Heck, we even had a bride who wore purple because that was her color, yo! Be it grey or blush, rouge or periwinkle, the color you feel best in should be a strong contender for your walk down the aisle.
Dance Party
A surprising amount of Heck Designs Couples aren’t jazzed about the dance party. Sure, they love to be surrounded by their loved ones, but dancing the night away isn’t something on their wedding bucket list. If this is you, consider games (be it lawn games, board games, video games, or a rousing game of capture the flag), a movie under the stars, a seasonal activity (hello, Christmas carolling?), or just plain old family-style dinner. There are no rules for what you can and can’t include, so go wild and do your thing.
Guests
Yup, you heard us right. More and more, today’s couples are choosing to elope, preferring to save the money they would spend on a big party for a down payment, travelling, or other life experiences more in line with their goals. If you think eloping might be your jam, check out The Complete Guide to Eloping in our wedding planning guide you can download here.
Unisex Bridal Parties
We couldn’t come up with a savvy way to word this, so let us explain. If your best friend is a guy, and you’re not, have a man of honor. Or, if you’re a dude who can’t imagine your big day without your best gal there, hello, groom’s maid. Sure, it might upset your grandma, but honestly? It’s your day. (This is totally our mantra.)
We’ve seen all of these things done well, and all of these things done wrong. As long as you’re making choices that reflect you for your wedding, you can’t go wrong.